Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice

Today I finished reading Anna Kendrick's gem of a memoir/essay collection, Scrappy Little Nobody. As expected, her book was filled with witty stories about life as a budding movie star. What I didn't expect was how relatable and wise Anna would turn out to be. This little passage struck a chord with me:

"I gave up on being Nice. I started putting more value on other qualities instead: passion, bravery, intelligence, practicality, humor, patience, fairness, sensitivity. Those last three might seem like they are covered by 'nice,' but make no mistake, they are not. A person who smiles a lot and remembers everyone's birthday can turn out to be undercover crazy, a compulsive thief, and boring to boot. I don't put a lot of stock in nice. I'd prefer to be around people who have any of the above qualities over 'niceness,' and I'd prefer it if that applied to me, too. I'm also okay if the most accurate description of me is nervous, and a little salty. But at least I know what I want to strive for."

I feel like I get the Nice label a lot. "You're a nice teacher." "You're way too nice to actually say that." "You are soooo nice!" Don't get me wrong...all of that is (ahem) nice to hear. But maybe it's time to make like the cast of The Real World and stop being being polite. It's time to start getting real.

Part of the trap I fall into as a teacher is wanting my students to like me. I'm finally starting to learn that Niceness isn't the only part of the likability equation. It goes back to what Anna says; other qualities are important too. Here's to being more passionate, brave, intelligent, practical, humorous, patient, fair, and sensitive in 2017. And a little bit meaner.